Lessons Learnt, Better Than Money Earned

Indus Gendi just had our first ever performance at Esplanade On the Waterfront and boy, was it a refreshing experience for me! It was my first time performing without the keyboard in front of me, meaning that I had nothing to hide behind. I was fully exposed to everyone! And yes, I have stage fright. So even though my performance may not have been the most engaging or the most entertaining, I felt proud of myself inside, that I managed to survive the performance without freaking out too much, or losing my voice, or just standing there looking like a wooden fool.

At the end of it all, I felt very accomplished. Despite my anxiety problems and general lack of confidence, I felt proud that I did not let the band down too much. To other frontmen or frontwomen, performing like this may be no big deal. But to me, that single performance was a great leap for me. A great leap forward. 

Right now we are in the midst of recording our debut LP, I’ll Be Good If You Say Yes, and are going to launch it in Mid March. Somehow I feel that doing this project together as a band has brought us closer together in different ways. Though there may be little conflicts here and there, but it is a precious feeling to be able to work with each other and produce our very own baby. For some of us, it is our first time having the privilege of releasing an LP too! (Including me! :D)

Meanwhile, my anxiety problems are getting better too, with the help of the medicine and therapy. Everything is slowly getting back to normal. Though the whole ordeal is quite a nightmare, it’s probably a blessing in disguise. I’ve come to understand that things we take for granted everyday, like our sanity and our good health, are the most important things in the world that prevent our lives from crumbling to pieces. I’ve learnt to be very thankful for the unobvious but extremely significant things that make living possible, such as true friends, love, and personal strength.

I am thankful that every morning I wake up to see the sunlight streaming in between the crack of the curtains, and Amran sleeping next to me. I feel thankful that I have Amran, someone who loves me so deeply and unconditionally. I no longer desire for anything more, but a simple and contented life with him. Everything else that comes along are bonuses for hard work put in. To me, such contentedness is the ultimate form of wealth.

Okay I should totally be studying for Statistics test right now with Cindy and Fel but I just can’t concentrate. But I’m going to have to be real disciplined and go back to work now. Bye!